Thanks for a lovely article, Octavia. I’d simply note that the further along the line a person is on any of the two axes you give, the smaller the probability of finding both chemistry and compatibility. As both intellect and sexual drive are characteristics that seem to be distributed on a Gaussian curve, this means (by way of simplified example) that if you have an IQ of 120 (which isn’t actually that high) then there are only around 7 people in every 100 who may be a potential match, and that doesn’t even begin to take into account mutual interests, beliefs, etc. Similarly if you like passionate sex at least twice a day, fewer than 7 potentially compatible sexual partners are out there for every 100 people, and once again this doesn’t allow for disparities in taste, preferences, etc. When we allow for the many variables, it implies that for a reasonably clever and highly sexed individual there may be only one or two “good fit” partners in a population of several thousand. And so the question becomes: how do they mutually locate each other? As personal reporting (profiles on dating apps, etc) is highly unreliable, finding a truly good fit is a daunting task.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.