Allan Milne Lees
1 min readJun 23, 2020

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Thanks for a really fun article, Diane. While it's true that a strong opening line is important for a novel, it's also possible to over-do things. Anthony Burgess, whose opening to A Clockwork Orange you cite, is also responsible for the overly precious opening to Earthly Powers: "It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me." The problem with this particular display of self-conscious attention-seeking is that it's just a bit too contrived. It draws attention to itself, rather than drawing the reader into what turns out to be a rambunctious parody of Somerset Maugham and multiple other genres. It actually inspired me to spend a day (many, many years ago) inventing parody first lines, such as "At the precise moment Naira's spaceship disintegrated around her, she was composing a haiku in which she intended to enumerate all the many egregious personality flaws of her telepathic pet hamster."

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Allan Milne Lees
Allan Milne Lees

Written by Allan Milne Lees

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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