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The British Government’s Official Statement Regarding Ukraine
As we are all painfully aware, Russia has invaded its peaceful neighbor Ukraine and is now committing war crimes against unarmed civilian populations on an hourly basis.
Obviously the British Government does not in any way condone Russian aggression and we have been taking significant steps to punish Russia for its unwarranted actions. The Prime Minister has been tireless in his unwavering search for media attention, making speeches whenever possible and attempting to form a facial expression vaguely reminiscent of dear Winston.
When Ukrainian President Zelensky appeared before Members of Parliament in an Internet address, everyone present applauded splendidly. Frankly, we cannot conceive of any greater support of Ukraine in its hour of need than this demonstration of the British ability to clap our hands together with great fervor.
And while our courageous display of clapping has undoubtedly put fear into the heart of Russian President Vladimir Putin, we have not stopped there. In recent days, Government lawyers have been working on a package of sanctions carefully designed so as to put maximum pressure on the Russian government, while carefully avoiding hurting the many ordinary decent Russian billionaires and oligarchs who over the years have invested hundreds of billions of US dollars…
