The Dummies’ Guide to Dictatorship
Tips and tricks for the budding tyrant
So you want to be a dictator.
Let’s face it: in this modern world, who doesn’t?
If you’ve failed at everything else, dictatorship offers the chance for a fresh start, a “new you,” and an opportunity to amass riches without the hassle of actually having to do anything for a living.
And the good news is: it’s never been easier to be a successful dictator.
So let’s dust off the insults and get started on our road to absolute power!
To begin, we’ll need a deep sense of insecurity coupled to a truck-load of resentment plus the capacity never to say anything that could accidentally be interpreted as coming from a sentient life-form. It helps to be a genuine moron like Trump but if you weren’t born with the gift of brain-death you can always fake it like Johnson in the UK.
No one will really notice the difference, I promise.
Once we’re an idiot we need to create grievances.
At first this may seem a big ask because we live in a world of unprecedented prosperity and peace. In fact, in the West we’ve enjoyed the longest period of continual peace and stability since the end of the Roman Empire sixteen hundred years ago. We have all manner of whizzy…
