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The Greatest No-Show on Earth
Even if we have seen it all before
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, and everyone who identifies in any way with anything and everything else, please take your seats for this year’s exciting Culture Wars grand opening.
On the (far) Right we have our old favorite and returning Champion, the Superman of Stupidity, the Creature of Cluelessness, the Icon of Ignorance, Mister Religious Conservative. Our all-white friend, weighing in at a slender 480 pounds of desirable flab, is here to defend indefensible values and persecute everyone who’s got an IQ greater than their shoe size and more than a kindergarten education.
MRC is ready and eager to do battle against all Progressives, Liberals, Know-It-All Pointy Heads, and Satan-worshipping Intellekt-youalls who can read those wordy-whatisit things when everyone knows god invented cartoons so that we wouldn’t get our heads all confused by trying to understand stuff we were never meant to have in our three pounds of head ballast the good lord put there to stop our tops from bobbing about.
MRC’s hobbies include tweeting hate against everyone who’s not like him, over-eating unhealthy foods, consuming vast amounts of pharmaceutical products and alcohol (often at the same time), and meeting attractive young men in airport toilets.
