There’s a fair amount of research now (and a great deal more anecdotal indication) that one of the most reliable keys to open the door to really good sex is…. engaging the imagination. Sadly there’s also a fair amount of research that shows the vast majority of people are afraid to talk about their desires and fantasies with their partner(s) for fear of being judged. Which is probably a reasonable fear, given how most people get their “ideas” from trash magazine articles and trash Internet blogs. So instead people worry about the size and shape of their breasts and nipples, the size and shape of their male genitalia, etc. without ever once realizing they’re focusing on secondary issues. My own experience is that being able to talk openly, fantasize together, and sometimes turn fantasies into reality (which keeps the fantasies red-hot because there’s always that tantalizing possibility that one day….) is far more important than any other factor. But that takes courage on both sides, and it’s a lot easier to stay wrapped up in personal insecurities about body-parts. Which is a shame.