There’s probably no easy answer to the question, Octavia, as everyone reacts differently to different things. When I was a child I noticed how adults tended to have many different “faces” they presented to the world based on who was around them and on the particular situation. This felt odd to me, so I have always tended to be the same person regardless and this has on many occasions been detrimental in a professional context. But I’ve remained who I am, whereas most people I encounter at business conferences and elsewhere are dead behind the eyes, with no idea of who or what they truly may be.
Thus anyone you really want to be with ought to be able to accept the entire you, warts and history and all, because if they can’t then the relationship will be to some degree based on illusion and with time become unsatisfying because of that fact. I’m so ancient now that I embrace the fact my writing and my real-world behavior (which is actually quite decent and caring) acts as a filter and saves me from attracting people who likely wouldn’t really like me in my entirety.
But then again… I’m single, so one could argue this is a terrible strategy!