This comment will probably make me sound as though I’m even older than I actually am (maybe around 27,612 years old, give or take a century or two) but… I find most porn to be dull. Mostly, porn reminds me of English pantomime: there are several stock themes and cliches that are endlessly repeated in the belief that the audience delights in such repetition. Just as in pantomime there’s inevitably the Principle Boy (a pert young woman) and the Ugly Sisters (two male comedians) and the Wicked Stepmother (a once-famous actress who needs the cash) and the pantomime animal (a mime artist dressed as a horse, or a crocodile, or some other hapless creature) and there’s the inevitable overcoming-adversity shtick, so in porn there’s the FMF tedium, the MFM tedium, the FF stuff, and of course the inevitable anal scene. Not to mention that weird business of slapping women’s faces with erect penises. That’s the panto horse equivalent, I think.

And it’s all just by-the-numbers.

But you know what? Just as tedious pantomime has been going strong for 100+ years, so tedious Internet porn seems likewise destined to be with us forever. This tells us that most people like it, either because they lack the imagination to want more or because they find the repetition comforting. And at least in porn you’re not expected to shout “behind you!” at regular intervals. Although that would, in fact, perhaps add a touch of much-needed humor.

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