This is genuinely one of the funniest articles I've read on Medium in a long time. As someone who appreciates absurdity and satire, I was amused from the very first words of the title all the way through the hilarious pseudo-serious exposition that piled one nonsensical proposition onto the next in a never-ending cascade of pure intellectual incoherence. Lewis Carroll couldn't have done better. Great job!

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.