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Tomorrow’s Ads
What if marketing was just a fraction more crass and accidentally truthful?
AD ONE: Hi there! Here at the Women’s Holistic Organic Gluten-Free Upper Chakra Cleansing Collective we believe every woman should squirt proudly.
But maybe not in the grocery section of Whole Foods.
So that’s why we’ve developed our ethical all-natural-fiber kundalini-nurturing moisture-wicking lycra yoga pants.
For only $299.99 you can treat yourself to pants subtly infused with the healing rays of our Himalayan salt crystals and shop safe in the knowledge that no matter how your energy flows your pants will be keeping you dry.
(Removable pads not included, your results may vary.)
AD TWO: You work hard. You’re at the top of your game. Don’t you deserve the best life has to offer? Sure, you’re a CEO and you call the shots. But at the end of each (very long) day your employees scuttle off home where they exercise some slender measure of independence. Maybe they watch shows you don’t approve of. Maybe they occasionally squander the energy they should be devoting to work on frivolities like playing with their pointless kids or once a month having three minutes of carnal pleasure with their partner.
