Vote For Me!

It’s everyone’s duty to make sure we can all continue to enjoy the fruits of democracy

Allan Milne Lees

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Image credit: Portmeirion Village

The following is a verbatim transcript from A. Candidate’s recent campaign rally in any country you can think of naming.

Hello good people everywhere! Great to see you! Welcome! I can see…. Thousands of you, probably millions. Maybe trillions. Whatever, a lot of you. Really. I’m so happy you’re all here.

We live at a great time in human history, which is, let’s face it, a lot better than worm history or coconut history. I mean, we’ve got the best history, right? We deserve good stuff.

So here we are, at this great time, when every complex problem can be solved with a simple soundbite. How fantastic is that?

That’s why I’m now running for office and my slogan is Soundbite Solutions!

Got that? Repeat after me: Soundbite Solutions!

Forget all those so-called experts who pretend things are difficult to understand and only they can recommend what to do. We all know better! Remember all those movies where the hero saves the day by shooting everything in sight? We got this!

Think about what made our country great: shooting bad people, wherever they are. What do we do when we see a bad person? We shoot them…

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Allan Milne Lees

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.