What If eCommerce Sites Offered Dating?

True love could be just a click away.

Image credit: The Verge

There are a lot of dating sites out there, each trying to differentiate itself from the competition (mostly by marketing hype) in order to convince us to sign away a few dollars a month in exchange for the promise of True Love, or at least True Enough For Tonight.

Yet the real giants of the Internet, the eCommerce sites, are the ones we should be looking to for our relationships. These sites have perfected click-to-order and customer reviews. They have clever algorithms that steer us towards the products we’re most likely to be interested in, and they have no-questions-asked return policies.

Doesn’t that sound like the right way to approach online dating?

Here’s what dating ought to look like, courtesy of some of our best-known eCommerce behemoths:

Amazon

Scroll down the drop-down list of options and between Lighting and Luggage we find Love, the category that lets us shop for our date. We type into the search bar our product criteria (height, weight, hair & eye color, etc.) and Amazon’s amazing matching algorithm will show us custom-selected results.

We can read customer reviews to see what people like us thought about the dates we’re considering (“The product description said this date…