While you may be somewhat accurate in your assessment of US attitudes, I think it’s important to remember that there are other cultures in which “the patriarchy” has less impact on female sexual and emotional choice. From personal experience I know more couples who’ve opened their relationships both sexually and emotionally at the behest of the female partner than at the behest of the male partner. My own experiences have demonstrated very clearly that because of the imbalance between men’s sexual adventurousness and that of women, women in polyamorous situations control the outcome in a way largely infeasible in a traditional monogamous relationship.
Given the sexual repression, fear, and anxiety about sexual matters in the USA it’s too easy to conflate the subliminal messages one’s absorbed with a political or sociological posture.
Furthermore, it always concerns me when people talk of “the patriarchy” in the same way people used to speak of “the Jews” or “the Freemasons.” The reification of a concept to the point where it is unapproachable merely robs one of agency. Better, perhaps, to identify concrete issues and work to improve things than to bask in the pleasant glow of perpetual but necessarily ineffectual opposition to an undefined and undefinable abstraction?