Why Getting Kinky Can Be A Good Thing

Allan Milne Lees
5 min readNov 15, 2019

The ties that bind are more psychological than physical

Image credit: TheEarth.com

First a disclaimer: I have never, and will never, watch any of the 50 Shades movies.

In an act of kindness The Economist magazine some years ago humorously published three sample paragraphs from the first 50 Shades novella and that was more than sufficient to alert me to the fact that as life is far too short to tolerate atrociously bad writing I shall consequently never waste a second on that tenth-rate garbage.

Nevertheless I understand from various sources that the 50 Shades phenomenon, which in France is termed Porno pour les mamans, has led to a significant number of people becoming interested in spicing up their sexual lives with a bit of kink.

But what is kink?

Is it tying the wrists of your partner with red satin cords before seducing her with a lengthy explanation of the connection between total money supply and its velocity of circulation?

Is it getting all worked up by looking at pictures of Carl Sagan?

Or is it being spanked and then ass-fucked while being told what a very naughty girl you are until you cum harder than you’ve ever cum before?

My personal definition of kink is very simple: kink is something someone else enjoys that you haven’t yet decided that you also might enjoy.

The problem with this definition, of course, is that kink is now fashionable so everyone and their duct-taped hamster wants to identify as kinky.

To be kinky is to be a complete sexual being.

And, frankly, I think this is a very good thing. Especially in the USA, which for the most part believes itself to be trapped in 1870s Victorian England, only with an over-abundance of guns and without the really good tea.

Exploring one’s sexual potential is no different from exploring one’s intellectual potential, one’s athletic potential, or any other undeveloped personal capacity. We can either sit slumped on the sofa staring vacantly at the latest must-binge-watch streamed video series or we can seek out opportunities for growth. Life is very short and very precious, so squandering it is basically an indicator of a woeful lack of imagination.

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Allan Milne Lees

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.