Yes, in one of my prior relationships my partner was very enthusiastic about exploring lifestyle parties & gatherings but invariably it was just a tedious fear-and-possession thing. The men all wanted to watch their wives/girlfriends kissing other wives/girlfriends in the hope of a FMF threesome and were uniformly terrified of the idea another man might touch (gasp!) their partner. And as you say, the laundry-list of rules per couple was enervating. I’ve had more erotic experiences attending the opera than at any lifestyle party in the USA.