You’re absolutely correct — sex is not something that is amenable to simplistic rules that fit everyone in every circumstance. Listening (not just with our ears) is vital, as is a good healthy sense of play. Most people could have far more enjoyable and exciting sexual lives if they could simply push out of their heads all the nonsense they’ve absorbed over the years from so many different sources and merely focus on being in the moment, with no false beliefs and no false expectations, and then see where they wanted to go…